Your wedding day. Just the sound of it brings to mind beautiful dresses, dapper suits, and the joy of celebrating with all your favourite people. But at the heart of it all, what is a wedding truly about? It’s two people, madly in love, making a lifelong promise to each other. As a wedding celebrant in Brisbane, I believe your ceremony should be the star of the show. And your vows? They should be the main event, telling your unique story and promises to the world.
So often, couples feel a bit lost when it comes to the ‘traditional’ parts of a wedding. There can be a feeling that there’s a script you have to follow, a bunch of rules you must stick to. But I’m here to tell you that your ceremony, and especially your vows, can and absolutely should be a real reflection of your personalities, your relationship, and the wonderful connection you share.
Think about it. You and your partner are one of a kind. You’ve got your own funny habits, your own way of talking, and your own dreams. So why on earth should your wedding ceremony – the moment you become a married couple – sound like anyone else’s? That’s where the magic of truly personal vows comes in.
Finding your real voice
Lots of couples, when they first think about writing their vows, will look at examples online. And while these can be a great starting point, they often lack that personal touch. They just don’t quite sound like ‘you’. It’s a bit like wearing an outfit that doesn’t fit quite right. It looks okay, but it doesn’t feel right or comfortable.
Writing your own vows is a chance to really think about your relationship. It’s an opportunity to say what you truly love about your partner and to make promises that come from the heart. It’s a moment to be open and honest, and to let your love shine through in your very own words.
What feels most ‘you’?
Just as no two couples are the same, no two sets of personal vows will be the same either. The beauty is in the variety and the honest way you share your love. So, how do you figure out what style of vows feels most like you? Let’s look at a few ideas:
- Heartfelt and romantic: Maybe your relationship is all about a deep emotional connection. If so, your vows might be full of lovely words and heartfelt promises. You could talk about the moments you knew you were in love, the things you admire most about your partner, and your biggest hopes for the future.
- Funny and light-hearted: If laughter is a huge part of your relationship, don’t be afraid to add some jokes into your vows. A private joke, a funny story about how you met, or a promise to always make each other laugh can be really touching and memorable. Just make sure the humour feels natural and true to you both.
- Simple and sincere: Sometimes, less is more. If you prefer things to be a bit more straightforward, your vows can be simple, direct, and incredibly powerful. Focus on the main promises you want to make – to be a good partner, to support each other, and to tackle life’s challenges together. Simple words, said with genuine emotion, can be very moving.
- Telling your story: For couples who have a long history together, telling a bit of your story can make for a beautiful vow. You could talk about a key moment that shaped your relationship, a challenge you faced together, or a dream that brought you closer. These stories add depth to your promises.
A few ideas to get you started
Sometimes, a blank page can feel a bit scary. To help you get your thoughts flowing, here are a few things to think about:
- What was the moment you knew your partner was ‘the one’?
- What things do you admire most about your partner?
- What are some of your favourite memories together?
- What do you hope for your future as a married couple?
- What promises do you want to make about how you’ll handle life together?
- What are some of the funny or quirky things you love about your partner?
- How has your partner made your life better?
Don’t feel like you have to answer all of these. They’re just here to get you thinking about your relationship and all the good stuff you want to say.
Weaving your personal touches into the whole ceremony
Of course, making your ceremony personal isn’t just about the vows. There are lots of other ways to add a bit of ‘you’ to the proceedings:
- Readings: Instead of using traditional readings, why not choose poems, bits from a favourite book, or even song lyrics that mean something special to you as a couple? You could even ask a talented friend or family member to write something just for you.
- Music: The music you choose for your ceremony sets the mood and can bring up some powerful feelings. Pick songs that are special to your relationship, maybe the song that was playing when you first met, or a tune that always makes you smile.
- Rituals and symbols: There are many lovely unity rituals you can include in your ceremony, like a candle lighting, a sand blending, or a handfasting. You can also get creative and make up your own ritual that means something unique to you.
- Your celebrant’s words: As your celebrant, I love getting to know you both as a couple. This helps me to weave your story, your values, and your personalities into the ceremony. I can write a welcome and closing that truly feels like it’s all about you.
The confidence of being yourselves: saying ‘I do’ in your own way
In the end, your wedding ceremony is your moment. It’s the beginning of your married life, and it should feel genuine, heartfelt, and completely you. By taking the time to think about what really represents your relationship and crafting a ceremony that reflects that, you’ll create a memory you’ll both treasure forever.
So, forget the pressure of doing things a certain way if it doesn’t feel right. Embrace your unique love story and say ‘I do’ in a way that feels true to who you are. And if you’re looking for a celebrant in Brisbane who will help you create that perfectly personal ceremony, I’d absolutely love to have a chat.
